It is such a journey, to find that true, warm love for yourself. We all have such varying experiences, and still, at the centre, is this difficulty with our body. For whatever reasons stuck themselves to us in our formative years. Thank you for sharing your story with me, and I cannot tell you how happy I am that you are finding healing. These wars within us are violent, and yet they often go by unseen and undetected. Here’s velvet cupcakes and conversations with ourselves. x
Wow, this is so multi-layered and I love everything about it because I personally went through similar experiences. Especially the part about feeling like you’re not failing as a woman for “liking it”. 🤍
Susy. Thank you, always, for conversing with the layers. It’s a topic I haven’t waded too much into (living up in the clouds and all); but I do know there is so much space for grey and nuance between a lot of the beliefs we can hold. I’m trying to think of good comments or compliments as a pleasure, I know I can enjoy it without investing too much in it. But, I’m still learning.
Such an exquisite piece of self exploration and reflection. I find your words tasty little bites I hang on, the way you paint richness with them.
I can relate on the other end of the spectrum- feeling boyish and ‘late,’ only inhabiting a more womanly form in my mid twenties and late twenties after becoming a mother. And it feeling foreign at first too. Such an interesting time for all women I think - reconciling cultural ideas of our bodies with the simple truth of just learning to inhabit them, as our souls home.
Thank you so much Alexandra. That is such a warming compliment. Straight through the skin, that one.
It’s such a strange thing know we all experienced, right at it’s very core, the same thing. Just with many faces. In many cloaks. I find it intriguing that the experience of other vs body shows up for us, in all our stages and all our ages. And your story led me into another facet of this same story. Thank you for thoughts and sharing your experiences. And thank you for reading!
Brooke, I’m completely resonating with your words! I feel I have grown up most of my life being referred to as a prawn (how awful, really). And yet, I never let those outside opinions define my perception of my own beauty. But perhaps that was also because there was this adoration for the rest of my body... it’s been interesting to reflect after reading your piece. I just finished writing a piece about my own experience with my body as I approach thirty and that changing relationship (it’ll be out tomorrow), so this also feels very timely to read.
“This realisation snapped my warped belief that the perception of others is a undeniable stone-hard truth and something to contort a self around.” Words to live by. Going up on my wall on a sticky note. Thank you for your words, Brooke. They inspire more than you know. Xx
Thank you for writing this with such vulnerability and honesty. Discussing our bodies is never easy.
I really feel you with the relationship you fast developed about yourself being separate to your body.
I remember having friends in my late teens who delighted in telling me that the guy I liked thought I was hot but weird. I got so many compliments on my appearance, my thinness that I’m still unpacking the trauma of seeing myself as more that what I look like. The hardest part of motherhood for me was having my body change so much, and my face. Loosing what I thought was my identity and then believing that no one would like me anymore because I wasn’t hot or skinny.
It’s been a huge journey to grow my confidence in myself as a person, a person I’ve actually always liked, but been told was too weird to like and whose only value was beauty.
Thank you for this honest, vulnerable share. I resonate with feeling like someone else 'got there first' because I only saw my body through the pointed and unsolicited comments/ of another.
This part was my favourite: "The closest thing to a glimmer of truth is that it feels painfully alien to me. I feel most unseen when I'm looked at. Most unlike myself in my physical form."
It is such a journey, to find that true, warm love for yourself. We all have such varying experiences, and still, at the centre, is this difficulty with our body. For whatever reasons stuck themselves to us in our formative years. Thank you for sharing your story with me, and I cannot tell you how happy I am that you are finding healing. These wars within us are violent, and yet they often go by unseen and undetected. Here’s velvet cupcakes and conversations with ourselves. x
This. ❤️
Corynn, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🖤 x
Wow, this is so multi-layered and I love everything about it because I personally went through similar experiences. Especially the part about feeling like you’re not failing as a woman for “liking it”. 🤍
Susy. Thank you, always, for conversing with the layers. It’s a topic I haven’t waded too much into (living up in the clouds and all); but I do know there is so much space for grey and nuance between a lot of the beliefs we can hold. I’m trying to think of good comments or compliments as a pleasure, I know I can enjoy it without investing too much in it. But, I’m still learning.
Such an exquisite piece of self exploration and reflection. I find your words tasty little bites I hang on, the way you paint richness with them.
I can relate on the other end of the spectrum- feeling boyish and ‘late,’ only inhabiting a more womanly form in my mid twenties and late twenties after becoming a mother. And it feeling foreign at first too. Such an interesting time for all women I think - reconciling cultural ideas of our bodies with the simple truth of just learning to inhabit them, as our souls home.
Thank you for this read 🤍🙏🏽
Thank you so much Alexandra. That is such a warming compliment. Straight through the skin, that one.
It’s such a strange thing know we all experienced, right at it’s very core, the same thing. Just with many faces. In many cloaks. I find it intriguing that the experience of other vs body shows up for us, in all our stages and all our ages. And your story led me into another facet of this same story. Thank you for thoughts and sharing your experiences. And thank you for reading!
Brooke, I’m completely resonating with your words! I feel I have grown up most of my life being referred to as a prawn (how awful, really). And yet, I never let those outside opinions define my perception of my own beauty. But perhaps that was also because there was this adoration for the rest of my body... it’s been interesting to reflect after reading your piece. I just finished writing a piece about my own experience with my body as I approach thirty and that changing relationship (it’ll be out tomorrow), so this also feels very timely to read.
Thank you for sharing x
“This realisation snapped my warped belief that the perception of others is a undeniable stone-hard truth and something to contort a self around.” Words to live by. Going up on my wall on a sticky note. Thank you for your words, Brooke. They inspire more than you know. Xx
Thank you for writing this with such vulnerability and honesty. Discussing our bodies is never easy.
I really feel you with the relationship you fast developed about yourself being separate to your body.
I remember having friends in my late teens who delighted in telling me that the guy I liked thought I was hot but weird. I got so many compliments on my appearance, my thinness that I’m still unpacking the trauma of seeing myself as more that what I look like. The hardest part of motherhood for me was having my body change so much, and my face. Loosing what I thought was my identity and then believing that no one would like me anymore because I wasn’t hot or skinny.
It’s been a huge journey to grow my confidence in myself as a person, a person I’ve actually always liked, but been told was too weird to like and whose only value was beauty.
Our bodies - of the stories they could tell, the journeys they have had with us, the things that they have withstood & withheld.
So.many.things.
Why has it taken me until now to accept her. She is remarkable in all her ways.
Thank you for this honest, vulnerable share. I resonate with feeling like someone else 'got there first' because I only saw my body through the pointed and unsolicited comments/ of another.
This part was my favourite: "The closest thing to a glimmer of truth is that it feels painfully alien to me. I feel most unseen when I'm looked at. Most unlike myself in my physical form."
🤍
I wish I could reread this all for the first time. Thank you.